Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Article: Princeton's Woman Problem

Bostonian,

I think that it is true that American women today are more likely to prefer part-time work and to express more desire to spend time with children than their male counterparts are, but I would also point out that, far from this being a consequence of "nature", there is fairly strong social acceptance or even approval of women who express these preferences, and there are *very* strong social penalties for males who express the same desires.

In our family, around the time my son was born, my earning potential was significantly higher than my husband's, so we made the rational decision for him to be our son's primary caregiver and a SAHD (for what we thought would be the few years until my son was in school). The amount of flack that he (and I) caught (and still catch)for him being "Mr.Mom", the number of people who ask me why I "tolerate" him "sponging" off of me, the number of times groups on the playground and at the library and museum, and later, in homeschooling support groups, made it very clear that while Moms were supported, Dads who took care of kids were weird and not welcome, makes me highly suspicious that men's reluctance to sacrifice career development to take on greater family responsibilities has little to do with nature or natural roles (my husband loves being home with his boy), and quite a bit to do with the harsh social disapproval that they would encounter if they did so.