In my DD's case, the educators all saw each other as trained and experienced experts in education and child development. When they looked across the table, they did not see two people with doctorate degrees in DD-ology. Had they viewed us as a qualified partner with unique information that they required to adequately serve DD, things would have been smoother.
The principal of my son's former school once raised her voice with me in the school lobby and said, "WE are education PROFESSIONALS." I was flabbergasted. I wish I would have responded, "I have an M.Ed. in Educational Leadership just like you do. I ALSO have a Ph.D. in DS." Instead, I left before things got too heated and made sure the signature block in my summary e-mail included both my current position at the local university and my degree. She responded much more nicely to me after that. . .
The number one requirement for us in selecting DS' new school was whether or not the front office staff, teachers, and administrators smiled and gave warm and genuine greetings to students and parents. We visited on several occasions at different times of the day to get a good sense of how inviting schools were. If we got courteous but cold welcomes or if many of the children seemed unhappy, we stayed as far away as possible. For now at least, we think we've found a good fit, regardless of school grade and availability of gifted programming (although they do have both part time pull out and full time gifted classes).
