Same song, different tune. My son got a young, sweet, inexperienced teacher this year. I sent a smart, educated, curious child to school. He became resistant to afterschool studying with me as the year progressed. I backed off completely, since who wants extra work after working at school, no matter what the level of the work.
I kept an open relationship with the school. I asked questions. I thought I knew what was going on. At first he didn't like school. I worked with him to get him to give it a chance. After sending him to school for half a year, after seeing his hard-earned skills regress like they say other kids do over the summer, after seeing his willingness and desire to learn new things greatly diminish, the teacher told me "your child's placement in my class is not working out. He doesn't do the work I give him to do. He just doesn't do it." Really? After half a year you tell me. MegMeg, here's where I sympathize with you. I think my kid should do what he's supposed to. I don't think it's up to a young child to decide if they want to do what they're supposed to. I want my child to know that the adults in charge of him are in charge of him.
My friends and family concluded that the teacher was tired of a mental tug of war with him that she kept losing. Now my five year has learned that the teachers at school can not actually make him work, his parents are clueless, and he can manipulate his teachers out of doing his work. I expected the work to be below his achievement level. The things I was told that he was supposed to be learning was the pace of school, and the routine. I expected the teachers to teach him how to do school.
So while you're conflicted over playing hard ball with your daughter, I'm conflicted that I now feel the need to play hard-ball with my son to correct the lesson he learned, but also with the school. I don't like the idea of saying that the sweet, truly caring teachers aren't giving my son the education he needs. I don't like this dilema very much.
