So I find myself thinking, "I just made my kid cry by making her do Dreambox at a level beyond what the school is teaching her. I am an EVIL HOT-HOUSING PARENT! How did this happen?"
No you're not, any more than making them brush their teeth every day makes you a "dental hot housing" parent (lol). The difference is if you were trying to build your DD up beyond her limits, which you're not. From my experience with my DD the push back is about control, which stems from anxiety, which is not related to the academic stimulation they usually enjoy.
I insisted my two do silent reading over our spring break. Meanwhile they were allowed to sleep in and otherwise live lives of leisure. We went to the beach one day, and up the mountain skiing the next.
It actually went really well. I posted "spring break check lists." On them were items like "make your own breakfast" etc. I called this life skills training, because mommy can't follow you around in life and make your breakfast when you're 30. They resisted THIS at first, but were fine with the reading.
What if you gave your DD a list of possible homework activities to choose from and let her decide what to do? You're still maintaining the habit of self discipline, but you're giving her some control.
