MegMeg, my dd9 is an extremely strong-willed child, and she routinely threw fits for the longest time trying to manipulate us (parents) into giving her her way - so I have a bit of experience parenting a child who's reacting in the way your child is. That said, I am no expert in how to deal with it! I do *love* the roundtable suggestion (as well as the Bingo card idea) and I'm going to try both of them
For my dd, simply getting a little older helped, but the years she was in the midst of it all were very trying.
That said, I realize this isn't the answer you're looking for, but I would not make enrichment "homework" into a battle, and that's what it is for your dd at the moment. Your dd is a very smart little girl, and she isn't going to be any less smart if she doesn't do *any* extra work at home at this point in her life. When my kids were her age, they loved loved loved to learn - but it wasn't about Dreambox-type learning or listening to Spanish because that's what *I* wanted them to be learning. The best learning for them back then came by letting them lead the way - I followed what they were interested in, which meant things like trips to the museum, doing art at home, going to the library and letting them pick out books that they wanted read to them. And lots of just simply playing.
I think that it's a-ok for our kids to experience having to meet expectations for worksheets completed etc at school, and it's absolutely a-ok for us as parents to insist that our children complete their homework for school, but I don't see the benefit in pushing our gifted children to do enrichment academics simply for the point of doing it because they are smart. They're going to still be smart even if they watch cartoons all day long on tv. The important thing is to not discourage them from finding their own way to creativity and intellectual fulfillment.
The cool thing is - if you offer those options you've listed as simply that - options available if your dd wants to take advantage of them, and don't insist on it, you've right away saved yourself that particular set of manipulative battles from happening. Chances are your dd may come around on her own and ask to do them (that's what would happen with my strong-willed dd)... but if she doesn't, the world isn't going to end, and you can save your energy for the other areas in life where you have to get through the manipulative battles, since you can't just avoid all of them.
Hang in there! Parenting through this age isn't easy at all -
polarbear
ps - fwiw, this is a bit out there but might be something to consider - the one thing besides maturing that helped calm my dd's manipulative drama was getting her involved in gymnastics, which is a sport she loves. I think it helps both because it keeps her occupied while she's at the gym, and she can also bounce around doing her gymnastics at home and when she's doing that she's completely happily focused on it - and it tires her out. I think I've read of other parents who've found that keeping their children active helps cut down on the drama.
