MegMeg,
This is a public forum, and I am a total stranger, so I have absolutely no expectation that what I say will be something that meets your needs or is what you need to hear. I am sure there will be others who provide something more to what you're wanting or needing.
But as a parent who has raised three gifted kids - all of whom have pushed back, tested the system, given me attitude, messed up, lied to me, manipulated me, and needed me to help them, I think that it is a fair contribution to provide my insight from raising my own kids.
I know what you mean about kids pushing back and battles of wills and all of that. I, myself, was a lot like your daughter. My great grandmother once told me I'd argue with a fence post so much it would dig itself up and dig another hole just to get away from me. So I DO understand what you mean.
But doing chores around the house is not equivalent to doing academic work on spring break. Not for me. And this is only my opinion, so that is what I shared. In your original post you said that " I have to keep reminding myself that this kid will actually LOVE the intellectual power that will come with having mastered these skills...". And as a parent of two adult gifted children and one teenage gifted kid, my only point was that we can sometimes lose a battle to win the war.
And, really, it was just one person's opinion thrown out into the ether. But you did come asking for insight, so that is what I tried to provide.
I certainly do wish you the very best. Parenting is tough, and there are no right or wrong answers. We can only do our best.
