Obediance and cooperation are different concepts. I get the best results with my son by telling him what we are doing, why we are doing it, and soliciting his input. I want him to be actively involved in goals amd contributing to how to achieve them, because I'm too lazy to do it for him forever and those are big life skills. I know many people don't care for an attachment parenting style, but a respect and communication centric approach works for me.