MegMeg - I sometimes have this with Aiden, and I agree that it is SO frustrating - esp when you KNOW it's something they WANT to do, usually love doing and when they are into it cannot get enough of it and usually moan and fuss about stopping that activity.
Since January this year Aiden has been like this, and since we homeschool it's most days that we have this issue. So I decided to change the tactics.
I don't want to bribe, I don't want to dangle carrots, I don't want to yell, scream, punish, prevent stuff etc. Because it is simply not worth it - esp when I have 2 younger kids watching the emotional playoffs. Meh.
So instead I sat him down. Asked what he wanted to achieve/do and we wrote down his own goals. Then I asked him to consider what he needed to do to achieve those. And now I revisit that every two weeks with him. We set goals for the two weeks as to how they fit into a larger goal for him.
And it works because he can see it written on his own chart, he can tick off the little boxes that matter to him and he can feel the fulfillment he gets when he achieves his goals.
It's encouraging the intrinsic desire to learn that was squashed while at pre school before we started homeschooling. And it's like you said - its providing the framework until they are able to do it on their own.
So you know the goal - to help her not be miserable for an entire academic year. So tell her that, ask if she has the same goal and then work with that. That way when she wigs out you can point to the written goal and remind her of what you are working for/to.
best of luck - it's never easy walking the parenting line and even less so when you know how happy they would be if they saw what you see.
