Random therapy suggestion... listening to Gotye's "Somebody that I used to know" a lot.
Another less random thought... a point of view that I found that kept me in a balanced place... The mind is more complex than just intelligence... as in there is philosophy, worldview, interests, ethics, morality, emotions, etc. then a principle based approach to dealing with people is that an area of self is only available to people who are compatible in that area. Quick summary is that if someone isn't ethically and morally compatible, you can still engage them intellectually but just not emotionally. Not something I've articulated before, but it might be a perspective she can work form without spoiling her essence.
