for a problem which is unrelated (as near as you can tell) to WHAT your child is; that is, that your child was victimized/traumatized and needs help recovering--
what do you ask/insist upon as a boundary condition with a therapist?
Do you mention that your child is PG and won't appreciate being treated in rigid chronological terms?
Or do you preemptively offer info that "proves" that your child is otherwise pro-social and well-adjusted?
This is causing me a lot of anxiety. I would hate to send DD to someone who would make her feel even worse than she already does-- and the least that would be true of someone who homes in on her 3y acceleration in looking for "answers" is that she will have no trust in him/her and be skeptical of any assistance.
If it INCREASES her sense of insecurity (triggered by the trauma, not anything general related to being accelerated), that would be really damaging.
I realize that most 13yo can't hang with 16-18yo in a functional way socially, but she isn't most 13yo. She's only recently developed the confidence to note that yes, in spite of her insecurities, those peers DO accept her just fine. Then the emotional injury, which has her questioning pretty much every aspect of self-worth and social worth.
My dd is... well, she's extremely modest and sensitive to others' feelings, and highly prosocial, but often sensitive to being "just a little kid" to some peers (which is probably true for those who go with their first impressions or tend to have steamrolling personalities- it's not that she can't change their minds, she just doesn't see much point). She's a kid who is in many respects an ideal friend for ASD kids, because she is instinctively forgiving and generous about social awareness. She is known as "Ghandi" for a whole host of reasons, but let's just say that the name suits her-- she is immovable when focused on justice, but is virtually incapable of sustaining either anger or a grudge.
I am wondering what others have done with a PG child that has been specifically bullied/stalked/abused by a chronologically older peer, realizing of course that kids are all different-- thus the description of her personality above.
