And if you see a red flag, you should *think* about it and not ignore it.
So, if you learn the tells/red flags, then you can still be open...but if you see one..and then two...and then three...well, then you should start watching things carefully.
to do this, she's going to have to be brave enough to face her shame in being taken for a ride-- at least well enough to turn things over in her mind and look for the cracks in the facade that she missed the first time.
That will be painful-- because it means going back through your own memories, and reliving the emotional content, even knowing that some of those emotions were elicited by lies or misdirection. Lots of humiliation there for someone who has "perceptive" and "smart" as part of her self-image.
Yeah. At our house we all have "thinking mistakes" we are prone to, and we work hard to acknowledge and be aware of them, including preventive measures. But it is really very hard work.
Totally, totally worth doing IMO. But I feel for you and your DD.
DeeDee
