I so appreciate everyone's insights and advice; it's appreciated more than I can say.
The PTSD seems to be easing a bit, but DD is still struggling to actually admit to herself some of the weirder things that went on early on in this relationship-- and this worries me since I know from experience (and from reading over my lifetime) that what you don't examine you often repeat.
So until she is willing to examine what went "wrong" here in her perceptions and reactions, she may not be able to learn from this.
We fear that the school counselor's inability to take her seriously enough initially also was a huge setback. I don't think (and neither does my DH) that she WILL open up to a therapist about how awful some of this felt to her. She's deep into rationalize and compartmentalize mode at this point.
While it is certainly good that we're not spending so much mental energy thinking about this kid and his behavior, and that feels (on the surface) like a "win" from an emotional standpoint, I am worried that she is just papering over things, and not truly working THROUGH them adequately.
But she may not trust anyone but me sufficiently to do that work. I don't know what to do about that.
