New DSS called consultant to say that they are scheduling an IEP meeting the week before school starts. We know principal will be there (oh yippee!) and DD's excellent special ed teacher. We have no idea who else will be available. They still won't tell us what they plan but have said the purpose of the meeting is to finalize everything we didn't get through and figure out what is going to happen on the first day of school.
I would way rather do it this way than go in cold on day one, and it's surely better for your DD. This is good news.
I asked consultant if this means that suddenly classroom placement is being treated as a team decision rather than unilateral principal prerogative. He seems to think that yes, that is the case.
EXCELLENT.
To say we don't trust these people farther that we can throw them is an understatement. Perhaps our rejecting the IEP, arranging the psych eval and moving up the neuropsych while they have done *nothing* is making them a bit nervous. Who knows. Now I have to steal myself for attending this meeting with this principal in attendance. Consultant says that new DSS is "on our side" but basically has her hands tied. Who knows...
Don't think too much about what's going on inside their heads. Assume for the sake of argument that it is changeable, even though that has not always been revealed in the past. We have seen people who looked like enemies in these meetings turn out to become allies once pressure from above or aside was removed.
You need not trust them in order to sit in a room and have a conversation with them. Put on your imaginary armor if you need it (but they are not going to be carrying swords anyhow). You will need to be firm in your purpose, but not antagonistic; this attitude is almost impossible to maintain, but use all the Zen at your disposal. Remember, YOU are the reasonable one in this relationship, and that has to remain on display.
Keep a written list in front of you of "the things we need" and "the things we want" so you don't forget to address anything, but have them prioritized and know what you'd give up in order to get the core stuff.
If you can bring Awesome New Psych to the meeting, do.
We are leaving on a 2 week vacation and just want to enjoy happy summer DD while we can. Almost as soon as we get back we will start the psych eval process and do the neuropsych. I assume that will be the beginning of the end for happy summer DD...
You never know. We almost pulled DS out of school, the end of 2nd grade was literally so abusive. But 3rd grade was a huge healing year. If they are willing to set that up so that it happens, it is possible.
Hang in there,
DeeDee
