DD has been trying to get the teacher to see her as bright as year last year.notice her ability and give her harder work. She would reduce fractions without being asked to, or produce more anwers that were always correct. But those correct 'above and beyond' answers are being marked wrong because the directions didn't say to expand on your answer.
This would make her sad and frustrated. When this happens she says: ______________________________________________________ and her face looks ____________ and her body posture looks ____________________________
She had to re-read many many books that she had read in second grade, in class at her old school, which was discouraging because she feels like she is not making progress. she said:__________________, and her face and posture look ________________________ when she said it.
When she said: _______________________, I've started to believe that she feels like no matter how hard she works or how well she does, she will not be allowed to get to learn new and interesting things. She sees that the other kids are learning new things, and I think she is jealous, because she said: _______________________.
Toward the end of last year, she began showing her frustration and a little rebelion by doing her assignments as a mirror image. I asked her why and she said: ___________________. I'm worried that she is developing a rebellious attitude towards school, just because she has such an intense need to be learning during the school day, and is in a classroom where that is the exception, instead of the rule.
She was frustrated in group lessons because everyone wanted to be in her group so they could sit back and let her do all the work and expect her to represent the group perfectly. When she didn't, (even in soccer in gym class) they would 'yell' at her. She enjoys the attention, but feels resentful and doesn't know how to make the other kids do part of the work. She is worried that they are cheating themselves.
Toward the end of the year she started to get anwers wrong in Math because she stopped reading the directions. This lead the teachers to believe that she was having trouble with the concepts, which led her into a deeper feeling of frustration and relion.I think is an inaccurate reading of the situation.
She feels like no matter how she does in school, she will not be able to move on and has begun to stop bothering to do well in school. She said ___________________ and her face and posture were __________________________________ and I am afraid that she feels that she is powerless to get her learning needs met. She has always been the kind of kid that is energized and motivated by learning new things - for example when she was 5, __________________________________________________________
Her grades don't matter to her because she doesn't work for them.
A child will protect a LEGO creation from their friends. They will put it on a shelf...because they made it. They worked hard on it. It is a piece of them. They will leave a store bought toy on the floor to be stepped on.
This is the same for DD with her work. She doesn't have to work hard on her work and doesn't care what happens to it.
She has begun going to the bathroom all the time. This is something she does when she is nervous. She does it after she goes to bed and only on school nights. (#1 or #2? Did you get it checked? What does the doctor say? Can he write a note?)
She was given advanced homework in Math last year and this worked very well.
She said: ________________, and her face and posture were ________________.
She was also given advance math (worksheets?) in class several times only it wasn't taught to herwithout any teacher interaction, she was just given a reference book. So She hid the reference book in fear that it would be taken away if she didn't already know how to do the advanced Math. She isn't learning the natural process of 'see a challenge, go through a learning process, win over the challenge.' She taughtwas able to teach herself even without the reference book and got the paper right. But she isn't learning how to use resources to help her learn. This was an assignment she cared about and checked her grade.
She hasn't made any close friends and seems to tune out among kids her age. She used to be a leader. She had close friends a year older in her class at her old school and she was a kind, interested and creative leader.
She is shutting down and I think some work at her level in Reading and maybe Math would go miles to show her that the school is on her side understands her learning needs, and appreciates her for who she is. I wish that the school would send the message that the school likes when she goes beyond what is expected of her. I think that she would feel validated as a thinker and her spark might re-ignite!
Please GC, pull my daughter out of 4th grade LA (and Math too?) so she can advance at a comfortable 'learning-challenge' level and feel good about herself and her learning style again!
I've added some comments and given you a push to keep to 'just the facts, Mam' I think a combination of email plus face to face is best. Perhaps to set up a meeting and email something like this the night before, then read it to her at the meeting so you can see her face, and monitor how the communication is going. Some points may hit her hot buttons, and you should know to avoid them in the future. Some points may hit the positive hot buttons and you need to amp those up. Some parts just might not be in words that make a full enough picture for her, and you need to see her face to know that also. But write it up, print it out and read it. Say - I have a lot of concerns, sorry I didn't come forward earlier, but it's sort of snowballed on me. Do you mind if I read through my list first before we discuss further?
I think It's fine to ask for testing - Base that on your feelings: for example -"It makes me sad to see my DD slipping away, and I feel like a failure as a parent when I see her rotten attitude towards school. Can you help me get my happy little girl back? Would testing be useful to reveal what in the world is going on?"
Lots and lots of this is right on target. I bolded the stuff that I think will resonate with the GC, so frame those parts. Remember to cry if it makes you feel like crying - another reason to do this face to face. It makes me feel like crying. Showing vulnerable emotions is one mode of communication that is sure to touch the heart.
I think this could work. I think that if it doesn't then going through this process might motivate you to find another option, as it sure looks to me like you need one if you possibly can manage it.
Love and more love,
Grinity
