Looked at the Winner materials--is your suggestion that we do some of this (formal curriculum) at home, or that I find someone familiar with it to help, professionally?
Ideally, an SLP should be involved at school and do some 1:1 (teaching the curriculum) and some push-in service (generalizing the skills learned in the 1:1). Failing that, private SLP could at least teach the skills; in that case an Intervention Specialist could take responsibility for generalizing the skills at school.
Failing that, the parent gets the materials (used; they are very expensive) and does all the teaching. BTDT. I would say the latter is the last resort, because as you note, the place where the deficits are glaring is school. To make gains in that environment, you need support to build those skills and practice deploying them there.
There is a SLP program at the university here--they said they could work with DS on pragmatics, but at that time I was still waiting for the report. They didn't offer this information, but a teacher friend told me they will work on sliding scale (they don't accept insurance), so I may make further inquiries, once I find out what the school is willing to do.
Sounds useful to know.
Thing is, DS really does need help with this--not to the level of showing him how paper fits in the notebook (ha ha) but in cueing him to do this.
Yes. He may think he's doing great on organization when he's really followed by a giant cloud of missing paper.
Building self-awareness about deficits without cultivating self-loathing is tricky, but very important. All humans make mistakes, all have weaknesses, but if we know ours at least we can work around them and use safeguards to make sure we turn stuff in. Ultimately this builds a sense of security and confidence in one's capabilities.
He also seems to have no understanding of how to ask for and receive help. This happens in all environments.
This can be learned. It is a hard skill because it has several parts: there is a self-awareness piece (recognizing that one is on the wrong track by comparing what one is doing to what's supposed to be done) and a social communication piece (asking for help appropriately). DS13 required direct instruction on this. We still prompt it sometimes. This can be a SLP or an IS job, or combination.
He *really* has trouble when the class runs long, and time to pack up is rushed. Not sure if that is something that can be addressed by 504.
You can build in organizational skills support. e.g. every teacher checks his planner at the end of every class (and he has permission to be a minute late to the next class if need be); or there's time built in at the end of every day or in study hall where the IS goes through his planner and the gradebook with him to help HIM learn to assess where he is with work and what needs to be taken care of.
I really think he needs help in the context that causes the most trouble--school.
Absolutely.
I received another feedback email, also positive, but it contained the phrase "he was good in class." Trying not to read too much into that, but the language bothers me.
As in, he has a reputation? Wasn't expecting him to be "good", and he was?
I have already noticed two important things: the HS teachers are much more responsive and professional in their communication (and also have webpages with important documents and information). Also, the only "seasoned" MS teacher DS has (who has taught in the program for decades) was immediately responsive and professional.
HS teachers tend to be more subject-matter specialists than middle school teachers are. They are invested in the kid's learning the actual material they are interested in. A kid who excels in learning the subject matter may be appreciated more by HS teachers than by MS teachers.
However, HS teachers can also have expectations that all the organizational/social learning is already in place: they can be baffled by a kid who needs support in these ways. It can work, but it may require some conversations.
