I do want the social behaviors addressed--what I meant was, do I even bring up the past stuff? Or just save it with my documentation if there is a need to provide evidence that bad things happen when people don't understand?
I think ultimately what you want is an IEP with a BIP (behavior intervention plan). The BIP specifies how troubling behaviors are to be dealt with. Now, usually it's used for aggression or disruption, but it can also be used very effectively for the case of "teachers are perpetually annoyed."
Make yourself a chart: Problematic behavior (or SS deficit); what has happened in the past and ultimate result of that action; exactly how you think that behavior should be addressed in order that DS learn what he needs to learn.
This chart is not necessarily to share with the team (though you can if you phrase it just right)-- it's to get your head around what in the situation has to change to get the learning done and gradually make everyone feel better about everything.
The BIP is basically columns 1 and 3: how each unwanted behavior will be addressed by the school. What steps they will take to prevent it, if it occurs what they will do about it.
The nice side effect of a BIP is that when teachers are annoyed, it makes them feel their concerns are being taken seriously. But it also outlines steps they are obligated to follow when there is specified unwanted behavior. That is, it can contrain their negative reactions and teach them how to respond most productively.
