Not sure, if this was covered already, but could it be that your DD is gifted? (j/k)
I'm curious if your DD measures way out there on her spatial reasoning (over and above other sub-tests?) Because I have most of the symptoms you've listed and that's the biggest hump on any test I've done. And I know my brain runs very system thinking/spatial. Combined with sensitivity here's how it plays out for me:
There is just too much information when you are hyper-sensitve and over-attenuate. Maybe the baseline stimulation is low, but part of the giftedness is the ability to self-regulate that mechanism and when interested it cranks up. It needs to regulate because "always on" is exhausting. If people are talking about meaningless stuff, then the brain is going to work on something else useful or take a breather. If someone is talking and I am interested, I am 100% paying attention and if stuff interferes that can fluster a bit.
If I'm working on something full on, you have to tap me or call my name a few times (and likely scare the pooh bear outta me.)
Oh yeah, you mentioned the phone, I have an awful time on the phone. There is no spatial context, I seem to need to have people in a place position to make sense. Speaker phone works ok (try that.)
It's possible there is some diagnosis that goes along with this combination, but I haven't felt a need to look for one.
