Seriously, at what point do you just cut bait? My friend (who has 2e daughter) talked to our other friend (who is SPED process coordinator who thinks I should just get him out of that school.
I agree with DeeDee's post above, and would stay where you are now as I think there is more work you can do there. At the same time, I'd definitely investigate wha your other school options are. The one caveat that I'd add though - is - what knowledge does your SPED coordinator friend have that we don't? Does she know something that would give her reason to believe the school just isn't going to budge or isn't a good fit or isn't going to work with you further?
She said the most important thing is that the teachers haven't meshed with him and it's too stressful for him to be there.
Is it all the teachers or just the one? Will he have the same teachers next year? The principal did indicate he'd work with you on the fit next year, I think (?).
FWIW, we didn't cut bait in early elementary but did cut bait for middle school. The brief summary of our ds' 2e journey: Great K/1 experience, teacher differentiated, was 1st-e enough that he was able to compensate and fly under the radar and no one (teaher or parents) had a clue he had a disability. There were some signs that in hindsight pointed straight to it, but we didn't see it. 2nd grade was a nightmare with a teacher who seemed to dislike ds immensely, always in trouble in class for not producing work, teacher convinced he had ADHD, ds meanwhile became so anxious he had panic attacks at home. We finally sought a private eval due to the school issues being so overwhelming, he was diagnosed and the neuropsych gave us recommendations for accommodations/remediation/path forward etc. The neuropsych also recommended that we remove him from his classroom and school immediately due to the situation with his teacher. We loved his then-school (for other reasons) and didn't listen to the neuropsych's recommendation because it meant going private and I had some long-held reservations about private school. DS also had one really good friend, and since he had a tough time making friends, I didn't want to take him away from that friend. DS also didn't want to switch schools. We did switch him to a different teacher and that helped - but I still had to spend night and day advocating for ds, explaining his disability, fighting to get an IEP, staying ever-vigilant and advocating 24/7 to be sure his teachers actually followed the accommodations on the IEP... and at the end of the day, by the time he was in 5th grade ds was beyond frustrated. He was mature enough by then to be very award that he was different from the other kids and he was also aware that he had an IEP and was supposed to be receiving help for his challenge and the school wasn't helping him. So at the end of 5th, ds told us he was done and not going back. We went back to square one, looked into our options, and ultimately sent him to the school the neuropsych had originally recommended and not only was ds sooooo so much happier - my life was so much simpler when I didn't have to fight for ds all the time! I finally had time and energy to put into some of the normal things parents of nt kids put their time and energy into, and it made a world of difference for our entire family.
Sooo... the answer to "when do you cut bait" is different for everyone, but I think the key is not to look at it as a cut bait situation, but a situation where you have to weigh - where and how do I want to be spending my time and energy, and where will my child be more likely to be happy and successful in a learning environment?
Best wishes,
polarbear
