Hey moomin, I'm so glad things have improved for your DD!
You can count me in as someone who has concerns about diagnoses and feels it is a confusing area. Not for all children, but for some. Mind you, we were the ones considering if DD9 had ASD in some form, and had professionals tell us no, but I feel we could easily have had someone else tell us yes, because she was very gray area. These days, she really does not look ASD. Similarly, we had one teacher voice concerns about attention, others insist vehemently that they see zero attention issues, another say "There's something, but I don't know what," (this teacher also said "Oh no, not ASD" when we asked if she thought it might be ASD) another say "I think her giftedness is causing behavioral problems," and a young preschool aide accused us of ignoring that she was autistic. She at one point received a depression and anxiety diagnosis, but was borderline on those measures as well. She was tested for auditory processing problems and aced the tests, and also aced an attentional screener on the computer. She also has some new concerns popping up that I can only describe as Differences That Could be Pathologized But Also Maybe Not.
At this point, I feel that any one label would be wrong for DD, but that she is neurologically interesting and extremely sensitive and high strung. Socially and academically, she is having no problems right now. At home, things have improved quite a bit since we put her on rhodiola. She has also seemed to mature somewhat. It could be a lull. We have those here. I fully expect further surprises, but I have kind of given up on finding out the One Thing that is up with her. We will cope with issues as they come up.
