Am I making sense?
Or am I crazy
Yes, and no
You need to continue to be proactive because at this stage your DS can't really self-advocate the way he needs to.
I keep thinking back to the part you wrote where his eyes hurt and the assistant thought it was because he was rubbing them. In my son's IEP they have "frequent breaks" because of his ADHD diagnosis. Whether or not he actually has it doesn't really matter - what matters is that if he shows signs of any kind of attention/sensory/discomfort/stress etc etc, whoever is working with him will allow him to take a break. So he could be cranky because he's hungry (nothing to do with any diagnosis) and they'll still ease up on him. Whether or not they think it's the "ADHD" or anything else doesn't even matter - the point is, he gets the break he needs.
Is there anything like that in your son's IEP? Maybe you need a "frequent breaks" provision because of his vision. (This will also help for a clever kid who is doing mundane work below his ability).
Also keep in mind it all gets easier. My DS is 8 and it's so SO much better than a couple of years ago
