I was a "smart kid" too. Fat lot of good it did me. I was very introverted (with a very extroverted mother, who still drives me nuts). Always well behaved, never talked back, had few friends, loved books. Never challenged in elementary school; the teachers loved me and I sat in front and got 100s on everything. Supposedly around 7th grade I must have been tested, I guess, because my mother claims to have known my IQ, though of course now she can't remember (she thought my brother's was 88, LOL, and he now has houses in like 4 countries, so... honestly I think she has alzheimers but only because she can't remember more recent stuff. but that's another story.)
I was traumatized in 8th grade by a guidance counselor. We moved to a new school district and my mother and 7th grade math teacher from the old school were trying to get the appropriate math placement. I never spoke in any of the meetings. So the guidance counselor says *to* me (keeping in mind that I was a total mouse, and probably less than 5 ft tall), "well, maybe you're not as smart as you think you are." I would still love to tell her off. She was old then so I suppose she's no longer among the living.
and looking back I'm a little ticked that my parents never thought to have me apply to the gifted high school - it never occurred to them that I could be smart enough. They were very focused on sending us to religious high schools (my mother had been a nun, a la sound of music but without the singing. got kicked out for smoking). It didn't occur to anyone that I got one of the top few scores on the entrance test; my mom was just proud of the tiny scholarship that went along with it. Too bad there were very few real teachers there. I slid by, working a job and having fun, and the underachievement continued.
It finally got better in law school, but still I was, and am, forever the imposter (the profession is full of them). DH likes to crow about having scored better than me on the LSAT but there were only two-tenths of a percentile between us. I'll never be as smart as he is and it doesn't matter because I've lost like 50 IQ points over the last 8 years since I've been pregnant or nursing or trying to get pregnant the whole time. (here we go again, no sudoku for me for another several months. but this one was not on purpose. so now you know why none of this gibberish makes any sense - preggo brain strikes again.)
Ultimately, I guess I managed to do "fine" but looking back all I see is waste (kinda like when I used to watch jeopardy and say, "I should know that!" but didn't. Plus those rejection letters from the likes of harvard et al. for both undergrad and law school; good scores, weak grades. At least DH got into harvard, but they didn't give him the big fat scholarship that led him to me
)
I'm hoping that my kids do just that notch better and avoid the underachievement trap. In my family growing up, having lots of fun was just as important as school success - why didn't I have more friends over, boyfriends, etc. - and it was way too much social pressure for me. I'll be satisfied if my kids are content in their own situations. My mother knew I was smart but didn't really have any idea of the ramifications of that. It would have helped if she had listened to me as if my opinion mattered growing up. Working in a law firm was the first time anyone really cared what I had to say. I don't want that to happen to my kids. But with all their 2e-types of issues, it's all I can do to keep up. I was kinda hoping we could do private for middle and high school (there are a couple schools here that would be appropriate, academically; small and extremely expensive) but with 6 kids that's going to be a tall order. I'm just worried the public high school will be too big (thousands) though it sure will have course selection and has a good reputation. My parents never thought much about this, but for that one 8th grade episode re: math, so I guess that's the big difference between us.
