Please poke away! Your insights are invaluable!
As I said no one in real life can truly understand the situation. I am relying heavily on input from the folks here. I hope no one will be shy about telling me their true opinions on this. I am truly looking for as much input as I can get.
By the way all 3 schools say that they do not accept explosive or aggressive kids. #3 has several kids with selective mutism. They also have a special program for highly anxious kids who are trying to transition back from homebound tutoring situations. DD's anxiety therefore would be far from the most extreme. DD came home saying that she "made a friend" in just the one day. Apparently one of the disruptive kids hadn't taken his medication on the day she visited so his behavior was supposedly worse than usual. As one of my RL friends pointed out ADHD kids are everywhere - they are probably even more likely at spec ed placements. She could experience the same sort of behavior at either of the other school too. But yes, what we saw when we visited #3 concerned us. A lot.
