Reading the cons on #1 had me vote on anything but this, until I saw #2. And #3.
#2 looks like it would be a worse disaster than your current placement was. Huge red flags before you even reach the cons, actually (an LD school unwilling to take into account outside reports and will develop program based on their feelings about what she needs?!?).
What's the take of local parents about #2 and #3? And if that 2E boy who left #3 is at #2, how is he doing? But no, I don't see a way you can trust that director.
My vote is for #1, despite the separation. And planning for one year of split living while trying to figure out a way to reunite the family either near the school or at least closer if it goes well.
Re. extra-curriculars, you know your daughter best, but she might need that supportive social group less when she is finally in an appropriate placement at school. Finding new classes near #1 (or options near home that are open on WEs?) could help but not be as critical.
This is a least evil option choice, unfortunately
