I get your point and I'm with you here: for us, the disabilities were biggest in early elementary, and the giftedness took a back seat. At some point around late 4th-5th, the giftedness started driving the bus for DS (disability still a huge factor but more like a co-factor). The remediation should be a serious priority.
Yet-- to what extent does your DD need gifted peers? Is that important to her, or not? How about instruction at her level-- will she be sad or depressed if that doesn't happen, or okay to just do school and participate? This is so kid-dependent.
DD is a highly social kid. She wants to be with other kids and has learned to "leave my vocabulary at home." Yesterday at the intake interview she would NOT show director her vocabulary or knowledge base. "It was great. I loved all of it. I can't think of anything in particular. It was all just great." REFUSED to show any of her skills. I thought that was really interesting.
In both local schools she would be at the low end of multi-age classrooms. Since there will be peers 3-4 grades above her in the class I think she may have the opportunity for some gifted support even if the schools are not really designed for it. If the whole class is talking about a particular topic it won't be odd for her to explore it in a more advanced way. Of course the 5th or 6th grade peers may not be operating at grade level but that's a different story.
Another consideration - and I appreciate you giving the chance to think out loud here - is to go for option #3 since it's the school the district recommends. Since this year can focus on her LD issues it would not be a great sacrifice. If/when it doesn't work (and with those kids bouncing off the wall it is hard for us to imagine it working... ) we say "Not only is the district unable to meet her needs you were also unable to select an appropriate OOD placement. Now we do it our way. Now she goes to the school that specializes in kids with her profile. " They will have absolutely no defense left. We will have cooperated and tried it their way. That school seems sincere about trying to meet her needs. We will need to pin them down more specifically on their AT program and have the psych weigh in on the effect of those "distracting" kids but it's possible that this is the one year where it could be ok to try. The biggest drawback would be if 2E school filled up and we lost her spot before we could enroll her. If we did it this way I would also be convinced that we tried literally everything before uprooting her. Psychologically I think that's important.
