#2 wouldn't even make my list. Where's the compassion?
About the 2E child who attended the #3 school-would the school ask his parents if you may call them to speak about their experience with the school? If not, they may be trying to skirt their lack of ability to work effectively with a 2E child. I'd balk at my child being a test case. How long before they would determine if the program they develop is right or not? Not loving this choice.
My vote is with #1. It looks near-perfect. If it were an hour drive away, would it look better?
Consider relocating to a home in between the school and your spouse's place of employment. The commute for said spouse may be longer (or not?). The commute to the school will be about an hour and would require a parent or caregiver to drive DD there and back. Surely this hour wouldn't be longer than she'd spend on a bus for option number #3? She may have to give up some extra-curriculars she enjoys that are close to your current home in favor of others closer to the school/your new home. With this option, you are home with DD AND your spouse at night. It's a trade-off your DD makes. She gives up proximity to extra-curriculars/friends to keep proximity to her dad.
Not saying being 2E is on par with a life-threatening disease, but I know of families that rent apartments near the hospital their child attends for treatment. Keeping the family together is very important, imo. I'd definitely sacrifice location for that.
Of course, there's always the complete family relocation option requiring new places of employment closer to the school. But the extra-curriculars and friends lose out again. I don't see any way to keep those all intact with anything other than option #2, anyway.
Good luck to your family in the decision!
