I'm not a big fan of either labels or numbers. I don't want DS to limit himself based on numbers or labels. However, since based on his most recent testing he has a 4sd variance between his processing speed and many of his other scores, we had to talk with him about what the tests he taks mean and why the numbers can matter. He often feels like he doesn't belong in the gifted program, not because he can't handle the work (in fact he still isn't challenged there overly much) but because many of his classmates who do better in the regular classroom are not in the program. DH and I struggled with talking to him for a few months when we kept getting the why can't I do what the other smart kids do, and why isn't so and so in the gifted program instead of me. Talking about what the tests tell us has helped him to understand that he learns and processes information differently. This really helped him to get a better attitude towards school in general and it is much more rare that he gets so down on himself.
I guess for us need won out over preference. I personally don't think that the exact numbers need to be shared. DS still doesn't have the numbers just that some of the numbers meet the school's criteria for the gifted program and that some of them meet the criteria for educational support. Like Dottie, we looked at a bell curve to talk to DS about it. We sort of showed him where he fell in different areas.
Regardless of the numbers, we reward effort and honesty not just being wicked smart
