Sciencemama.
((((Turns out they had a lot to do with each other, but the common element was a neuro-developmental delay (not a dysfunction or a disorder, just a delay in development) in her emotional regulation centers though her cognitive development was advanced. Or, in other words, she was developing asynchronously and her emotional intelligence (for lack of a better term) needed to be brought up to the level of her cognitive intelligence.))))
That sounds very much like my dd6. She did/does not have SPD issues, other than "normal" OEs, and a very good dose of those, BTW. However, she does seem to have trouble regulating her moods/emotions. She is one of the most intense persons I have met.
Can you tell me more about the "social stories"? I think I might have heard about them, but I am not sure. Certainly I haven't yet tried them.
Her therapist has been great at helping her recognize her emotions better and a lot of tricks and coping mechanisms.
I think there is a lot of good advice in The Explosive Child. For instance, all that about not wasting your time drilling things they already "know" but are unable to do. Also, finding common ground and problem solving sound reasonable. We have been able to achieve a lot of "peace" from doing this when she is receptive to the idea (i.e. calm and in a good mood). The tough part, is that for whatever reason, she got it in her head that asking her ANY question is AWFUL. She can't stand direct questions when she is irritable. Therefore, going with "Plan B" (the compromise method) is kind of impossible to achieve....
DD6 uses her amazing intra-personal intelligence to describe how her brain/emotions work. She describes how when she is angry, the thinking chambers in her brain get flooded; for example.
