thanks artana
my conern with the explosive child approach is that it might not be good for kids who seem to thrive on "drama" and fear that if its a lot of talking about problems and issues with them, it might fuel them into being negative (does that make sense???)..irene
Hi Irene -
I found the nurtured heart approach books this July and I am thrilled out of my mind. I would definitly encourage you to cancel the 'explosive' orriented therapist and if the NHA speaks to you, 'do it as if your life depended on it' as they say.
I read 'explosive child' and I think it's great for
a) kids who really have communication disabilities
b) adults who really can't control themselves around their children, who need to be told that scarcasm and revenge-seeking and all the other adult kinds of tantrums aimed at kids might make them feel better short term, but won't help long term.
I recently read 'explosive' and was so deflated that it reccomended all the stuff that I had already been doing, but really didn't seem to be creating the kind of family life I had dreamed of. I think that my son and I, as you mention above, were hooked on the 'thrill' of the drama of it all. For me, the nurtured heart approach was truly radical, (who ever heard of interrupting a child quietly at play to praise them? or complimenting a tantruming child for not using swear words or breaking anything) and got me over the hump of 'don't just do something, sit there!' which is so difficult for me.
My guess is that all the parenting books work for someone - and for that person, they sound dramatic and exciting and radical.
Irene, I'm wondering which NHA books you have read...My favorite is 'Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook' which is available online for the price of a $20 monthly subscription over at energyparenting.com. They also have podcast and videos so you can see it in action. They also have a 'parent's forum' where you can post and read the other parent's posts. I haven't paid any of their coaches, but by posting intensely on their forums I've gotten enough handholding to make a go of it. The website also has a listing of their 'consultants' and you might find one locally, or use distance coaching.
I'm sure that this isn't the answer for everyone, but I do think that lots of gifted children are what the NHA people call 'intense' and that beyond understanding your child better, this particular approach is a way to actually 'grow' my child in the right direction.
For so many years I went with 'understanding and loving and waiting for him to mature' that it is very thrilling to have a gameplan. It is just now starting to feel natural to me, but it is a long way from automatic!
PM me if you have any more questions!
Grinity
