When I was dealing with intense meltdowns from my middle daughter (between the ages of 3-5.5), I came across the Explosive Child book that was highly recommended on two other different message boards I'm on.
Looking into it, I came across this
caregiver handout designed to be a quick overview of the techniques to give daycare providers (or husbands who don't want to read the whole book etc) for the Explosive Child book that really gives a great overview of the book. I think it will help you decide whether or not it's worth it. I like it because it helps understand what's going on in the mind of the child, but I didn't implement the techniques.
Mostly it was by emotion coaching my daughter that helped with her multiple meltdowns a day and anger issues.
I created a
Kid's Problem Solving Binder to help with picture social stories and other ideas to work on helping her to identify what she's feeling and help give her a voice rather than acting out her extreme frustrations.
I think, with the asynchronous behavior of gifted children, there's a lag in both cognitive flexibility and emotional regulation skills. The more highly gifted the child, the more emotionally intense the child tends to be (I don't have facts, just speaking from my own observations.
It can LOOK like ODD, but it is really not at all. It's simply not being able to identify and cope with INTENSE feelings of frustration. Sometimes the HG children also have sensory over-sensitivities too. The good part is that THEY NOTICE EVERYTHING, and the bad part is that THEY NOTICE EVERYTHING (either physical or emotional) stimuli. How many times has your daughter catches you or anyone else being hypocritical (even inadvertently)? Nothing slips past the HG child and you learn to NEVER, EVER even remotely make any statements you make sound like a promise because the inflexible HG child will make you live to regret it
!
Living With Intensity is another good one to help understand the emotionally intense child.
It's not a problem that needs to be fixed as much as it's an experience of the world we need to help them manage. Emotion coaching and teaching the child to reduce their stresses (through something like ballet, or yoga) and PLENTY of exercise.
