I feel like my DS9 and DD6 are very self motivated and I'll mention some things that have helped them.We are very blessed to have gone to a montessorri Type pre school and K. The school works on developing one's inner self.
They constantly tell the kids it would feel good to do ...'
you look proud to have done that,
give yourself a pat on the back...
This is actually where my concern is... DS responds well to either type of encouragement -- bribes or kudos.
BUT if he constantly earns praise or learns to pat himself on the back for the inappropriate level of work he's doing now, he's developing a false sense of accomplishment.
From the article cited above, "What a Child Doesn't Learn," I pulled this quote to share with his teacher explaining that "earn[ing] good grades and high praise without having to make much effort" possibly sets him up for a nasty surprise down the road.
It may sound cold-hearted, but the more I read about it, the more sensible the argument appears. For example, he was the only kid to get 100% on their first spelling pre-test. His classmates and the teacher made a fuss about it... which is fine, on the surface. I give him the obligatory high-fives, too, 'cause that is pretty cool. Except he's been doing it since the beginning. I think he's missed a dozen words total in three years of pre-tests (750-900 words per year), and has missed none on the final spelling tests.
This, for me, falls into the category of "already knowing the answers when he wakes up in the morning" and does not constitute a challenge for him. Getting 100% of 2400+ words correct in spelling tests over three years -- without ever having to study -- tells me that his lists are just too easy.
Whereas, if he'd been missing a handful of words on the pre-test every week (like the majority of the kids) and then took time to learn them, scoring 100% on the end-of-week tests -- that'd be a whole different bag of apples.
Maybe this isn't a perfect example, but it's darn close.
One thought that I managed to distill from my OP here into my email to the teacher is that it must sound totally crazy for a parent to be concerned about a child who is generally well-behaved and who has excellent grades. But I am -- I am very concerned.
(Sheesh -- I clearly got a spoonful of cynicism in my Wheaties this morning. Sorry.)
