Couple of thoughts:
First, worrying that other parents will judge you for pushing is just the flip side of pushing so that you'll be judged well by other parents. If your kid is different -- in any area -- you have got to deliberately ignore others' opinions in order to meet your child's needs.
Second, educators seem to be confused about the difference between a) having to do mindless and boring work for years on end without learning anything ever and b) having to learn to do things you don't want to do and work hard to reach goals. They are DIFFERENT. One is not the other. If the first one is somehow fine (according to them) why is the second hothousing? It's completely absurd.
Third, I had the opposite experience to FruityDragon. I worked hard and was a very good girl until middle school algebra. In algebra I was one of the top two students in my class. This other boy and I were in competition for the top grade, doing the homework perfectly in addition to extra challenge problems every night. The teacher would announce who was first every day. And one day it just occurred to me that this was bull$h!+. All I was doing was subjecting myself to the derision and endless teasing of my classmates and for what? I just didn't see the purpose. School was the worst possible combination of boring and difficult (lots of uninteresting busy work). And I just stopped. Stopped caring, stopped going to class, stopped worrying. Still graduated with an A average and about a dozen community college credits. But my work ethic was crap. That's not what I want for my daughter.
