Well, I very rarely second-guess myself regarding my children's education/hobbies. It helps that at 11, they make a lot of the choices themselves. I do discuss and guide but generally do not force partly because it wouldn't work and just make everyone miserable. I don't care what other people think although to be fair I have never been accused of hot-housing. On the other hand, I am always prepared to switch gears if the situation warrants it. I think that as long as you are not so rigid and wedded to your concept/idea/schedule of what your DD must do/have/be, then you will be able to make necessary changes for her well-being.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties finding peers. That has not been a big issue for us, mostly because my kids tend to gravitate towards peers with similar interests or certain charms/personalities rather than strictly by LOG. However, I will say that it has been good for DS to interact with other kids around his age who also score well on the AMC8/AMC10 through a regional math group. Perhaps consider competition math and regional math groups as a source of peers?
