Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion I am a hot housing helicopter parent?

I am not positive, but I think I have happened, by chance, across at least two live interviews of the 'tiger mom' book author and her spouse on cable news outlets; the couple that I saw and heard are professors together at the same ivy league university. There is a main point about their theory that I think I heard over and over and to which I could not relate, but I think there is meaning in the distinction. To what I heard, they think it is tiger parenting when the actions of parent / students are coming from a place of insecurity and a feeling that if you don't do x, then y will not happen. For the GT / HG kids and parents, it might be more that their abilities are coming from and overflowing out of them from a place of confidence (more like, how are they reading those big words at such a young age when no one ever taught them?, why do they understand that scientific theory so young?). Higher order thinking comes naturally to the GT / HG children. I have never met anyone who could make a child have higher order thinking, so I have no idea how that dynamic would work. The example that I have heard used the most is forced practice of the instrument, the violin. Again, I have no idea how you would force practice. The personality type that I am most familiar with from all of my experiences is that the GT / HG children somehow from a very young age seem to reason, verbalize and argue like an adult and if they do not want to play or practice the violin, not only will the violin not be practiced, there will be a lengthy debate requiring water for your throat and tremendous patience because you are talking to a child but it feels like they are already of a member of Parliament or Congress. I have tried explaining to family, friends, neighbors our family dynamic. I have literally told family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, I am sorry I cannot do that right now I have to save my energy and voice for parenting this child. What I have concluded so far is that the experience is not common and you cannot worry about whether they are labeling you, they are probably not having the same experience. I hope that helps. I think sharing might be the way to help gifted families and I sincerely hope that there is even more support and understanding for people in the future.