I didn't read this whole thread, but agree with whoever said that gifted kids should have similar levels of challenge as "regular" kids. Most average 4th graders do not want to do math homework, but it's still required and expected. Those kids are not "pushed", they are just expected to have a reasonable work ethic. The same should apply to gifted kids...just because they are gifted doesn't mean they get a free pass. They need to be given work that is suitably challenging even if they are not thrilled to do it. Not all gifted kids are motivated and driven, some are just plain lazy. My second grader was accelerated 3 grades for math. If he had not been accelerated he would probably have 5 minutes of problems each night like 37-8 and would learn nothing. The only reason why he might want to do that, is because it would be over and done with quickly and then he'd get to play Minecraft. But the teacher instead makes him do harder work that takes longer. It may be "pushy", in that other kids his age aren't expected to do that level of work, but it is also teaching him a work ethic and to work through things that might be a tad difficult. I don't think this is "hothousing". Hothousing is more extreme--where the child is simply incapable of doing the work or it takes away from other worthwhile activities.
If hothousing is defined as having a child do more difficult work than age peers, even if the child doesn't like doing it, then any school that ability groups and gives the brighter kids more difficult work is hothousing those kids who are not motivated/driven but still placed in the "high group". It's not about what the child "wants", IMO...it's about giving them appropriate challenges, with "hothousing" being the extreme or inappropriate version of that, causing harm to the child. I also think it depends on the activity. All kids need to learn math, even if they don't like it. But gymnastics? Or soccer? Not so much. If those activities are "forced", just to give the parent an ego trip, that's a different story. The ironic thing is, most sport nut parents are not considered to be "hothousing" and it's socially acceptable, vs. a parent who signs their kid up for after-school math (because the school will not differentiate) is viewed with scorn.
