Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy 8 yo , doesn't care about behavior at school

Hi, jaylivg,
I'm so sorry you're having all these problems with the school. Is homeschooling an option for you? Or finding another school? That can be difficult but it really sounds like where he is is not a good place for him. Also, if the school wants you to have him tested, you may want to consider independent (outside) testing (to fill out any additional tests the school might be thinking of), if you can afford it, although others may have more insight on this. It's just that sometimes schools want to have a kid tested so they can help them better by understanding what their issues are, and sometimes they want to put a label on them so they can 'counsel them out' (although I guess that's more an issue with private school mostly). Have you discussed the earlier report with them? If not, perhaps it would be best to go along with what the school suggests for now as long as you think they're trying to help, and see what happens. They may really be trying to do some good. Actually the checklist idea--although it sounds frustrating right now for your son--has really helped our DD9 adjust her behavior, because hers was specific, achievable goals that the teacher was helping her with, so the school then stopped mentioning medication.

Also not really helpful, but your story about your son's sense of humor reminds me of my daughter's sense of humor--very inappropriate most of the time! Fortunately she now understands that she is not to say any of this stuff at school, and we haven't gotten any bad reports about that (although the bra and panties thing I would not have thought would get a kid in trouble). She now (at age 9) enjoys the books by The Oatmeal, the Capitol Steps, and Calvin and Hobbes, all of which would probably get her in trouble if she repeated anything from any of them at school (but they're not in the school library, either!!). Her best friends are also kids who appreciate that kind of humor (and so do DH and I), so we save that stuff for home and outside school and talk to her a lot about how certain things are only appropriate outside school. Fortunately that has worked with her, and she is able to enjoy some other kids for what interests they share even though she doesn't enjoy them as much as her friends who do share that sense of humor. I hope you can find some way of helping you and your son deal with some of this stuff; I know it can be very very difficult to have problems like this and I wish I could be more helpful. Good luck! Clearly you are really trying hard to help your kid, so don't lose heart