and now...drum roll please...I thought we had hit rock bottom but that was before I got the email from the teacher explaining herself. And where my response for not punishing my child at home as severely as they would like (apparently the teacher expected her to be grounded the whole weekend for a bad day on Friday???) winds up sounding like me JUSTIFYING and explainging myself. I don't owe the teacher an explanation, which, btw, is that there has been way too much focus on negatives and I needed to remind myself that my kids are fun and enjoyable. Plus, her sister doesn't deserve to be punished too and my DH has been out of town more than he's been home. We needed time to feel good about ourselves and our family. I NEEDED my kids to say I was awesome...
I sent the teacher an email specifically asking her to NOT punish Butter by not letting her continue to art, when that was an activity. I think art is just as important, if not more than for my kid. I know my child is also far more engaged in art and would likely act out less if there was more art. And lets not even address that Butter's idea of "art" is far more advanced than what the teacher is providing. Butter has her own sewing machine, draws amazingly (gave up coloring books at 3) and is working on origami. The teacher's idea of art is gluing torn paper leaves on construction paper...
so here is her response
"In regard to your email about not witholding Art...In my class if there is any student who is not completing their work, then unfortunately they are not allowed to participate in Art until their work is complete. It is my class policy, and it is not something that I am willing to compromise, and allow uncompleted work to be taken home and returned"
Questioning Butter reveals that this is not a universal policy either. PE trumps math worksheets, which then would be done after PE, at recess. But if they are still on math and the class moves to guided reading with the teacher, Butter continues math, in effect, missing part of the reading activity.
It gets worse...she doesn't feel like each day is a fresh start, she feels the teacher likes other students more than her (which is just logic, even if it's not actually true. it stands to reason she would not like a problem child more than a well behaved one). I had to promise her, on the spot, that we would start looking for another place right away. I asked her if she wanted to participate in Halloween on Monday and spirit week the rest of the week, but even that can't draw her back. She wants me to get the schoolwork and do it at home while we figure something else out.
So I told her we would and I promised I would never be on a team of adults deciding her future without consulting her again. I might not do what she wants, but I will never again automatically listen to a teacher or other adult without finding out my child's perception.
SUrely 8 years old is old enough to say that you are not happy and ask for a change.
