You sound SOOO much like my husband ach!
My brother is pg as well; (they both knew each other at the same high school for big brained people, funny enough).
I have a pretty big brain, but tend towards the optimistic - oh that person over there just doesn't understand! I am not pg so I don't really get the MAJOR separation issues but see it a lot when it comes to these two men in my life. As my husband put it just this morning, regarding lack of educational fit and social fit, it can be so psychologically painful that it is equatable to physical pain; so much so that he wouldn't want to burden anyone else with a (detailed!) description (outside of family, of course).
He tells me about this stuff and he has had ok luck finding a few folks to hang with but no one that you would really say is as smart as he is. (Oh, and since he isn't in the sciences, finding jobs that are a good fit... well it is a bit of a challenge, too).
My brother has found a good place too, after much MUCH up and down. He has phd in nuclear physics, completed studies to become an m.d. also, but finally ended up getting a job where he can just do research, design, etc., etc., some bio-something or other job, which sounds like a great fit for him. His wife is adorable and very smart, I don't think pg, but she is gifted and they spend their days speaking different languages together, raising a sweet little girl and doing their own thing, which I think is a good ending/beginning.
Just some thoughts, early 20's is not the end of the road you will more than likely find folks you can 'stand to be around' and who can stand you.
ps, dh is definitely a curmudgeon!
