My brother has found a good place too, after much MUCH up and down. He has phd in nuclear physics, completed studies to become an m.d. also, but finally ended up getting a job where he can just do research, design, etc., etc., some bio-something or other job, which sounds like a great fit for him. His wife is adorable and very smart, I don't think pg, but she is gifted and they spend their days speaking different languages together, raising a sweet little girl and doing their own thing, which I think is a good ending/beginning.
Just some thoughts, early 20's is not the end of the road you will more than likely find folks you can 'stand to be around' and who can stand you.
ps, dh is definitely a curmudgeon!
