A recitation of milestones would be annoying. But I think that growing and developing is the job of kids. It's what they do. My job is to help them do that. Not talking about what they do is like not being able to talk about our work. That seems forced to me, especially in groups that come together because of parenting issues. Parenting is the one thing--sometimes the only thing!--we have in common. It's the natural topic of conversation.
I agree completely, passthepotatoes, that the value of a person does not lie in what they can do when. But I don't think that's necessarily what kids are being reduced to when a parent wants to say nice things about a child or even wants to make a list of milestones for the grandparents and for the child herself as she grows up. Baby books are full of that stuff! Some of that is just about recording the child's history.
I guess for me it's about love. It's certainly not about putting other kids down or making other parents feel bad. It's about appreciating all kids and making everyone feel good--the kids about themselves and the parents about the job. Actually, I've found that it's often with parents of developmentally disabled kids that BOTH sets of parents feel most free to share the good stuff. Anyone who has kids outside the norm are more likely to identify with the need to celebrate and not being able to in public. If it were about competitiveness, I don't think that would work. I think people with kids at the left side of the Bell Curve too often get pity when they want celebration, and I think the people with kids on the right side get competition (or disbelief) when they want celebration.
I guess my point is that I hear what you're saying, but I don't think a list of milestones for general public consumption is what people here mean by "bragging." It's the "happy moment" that you alluded to yourself. I don't think that's a bad thing, I don't think it's about defining a child by how fast they do things, and I don't think it's competitive. I think it's about taking pleasure in our kids, as all parents should do, and as most parents get to do in public without fear of social retribution.
