I don't think it is uncommon to find people who gas on about the ages their children accomplish milestones as being irritating. We attended one playgroup where such talk dominated the conversation. Sure, most were clever enough to be creative about the way they presented the conversation "I'm really wondering if Susie will have trouble with reading since we are in a bilingual household, she's already sight reading some of course..." or "Junior just won't watch kid's programming but of course he's always just been so advanced..."
Goodness, I'm sorry you had such a poor experience. I wouldn't want to talk with moms who talk like that either. That sounds very different than the groups I am familiar with in my area.
I've been interested in the moms who enjoy their kids but aren't reciting milestones. Let's have a conversation about books, restaurants, a happy moment yesterday, how tired we are...all of that stuff is more supportive and more interesting to me.
We discuss all kinds of things, including what you have mentioned above and more. Books, movies, politics, and hopes for the future. It's not all about the kids. Now, if I could just find another mom IRL who likes sci-fi books, I'll be all set.
Everyone is different, and we all look for different things in our friendships. I just don't want other people to feel that there is something wrong with them because they want to talk about what is going on in their kids lives. Many parents (obviously not all) love to talk about their kids regardless of whether they are advanced or not.
What I know now is that no matter how smart the kid is, you shouldn't praise the child for this gift, but instead for what the child is doing with the gift. Praise hard work, praise trying, praise thinking things through.
This is great advice!
newMom21C, my DD was not as advanced as your DD sounds, but she was very demanding in that first year. My suggestion is to find a way to get a break now and then, just to mitigate the extreme exhaustion that goes along with this level of demand. Maybe your DH, a friend, or even a teenager you know could watch her for an hour or even a half hour now and then to give you a chance to catch your breath, so to speak. A nice hot bath with a good book can do wonders for your energy level.
Good luck!
