I feel strongly that what our conversations are normal and healthy. The reason so many of us are happy here is because we are NOT seeing people who act the ways that passthepotatoes is claiming people are acting.
I see the thread has evolved to discussion of behavior on Internet message boards. To be clear that isn't what I was addressing. Sorry, I haven't read the bragging thread so I certainly wasn't commenting on that. I for one would expect conversations to be a bit different in a "mixed" group IRL than on an anonymous message board online. It is great if folks have found support here or elsewhere online.
I do think it really sad thing for people to feel isolated in real life. Message boards can certainly help bridge the gap, but it isn't the same as having people IRL. I'm sure some of what determines IRL support is luck of the draw or circumstance. Beyond that I don't see why it is a threatening idea to consider maybe there are things we can do as parents of gifted kids to lessen our sense of isolation and to parent in ways that are authentic and comfortable with less risk of alienation of others. What ways can we find to the social parts of parenting besides getting support online? Is it worth considering reshaping a bit the way we think about and talk about our kids? I also think it is worthwhile to spend time thinking about how our kids are affected by the ways we talk about them. If they hear us over and over again defining them as about their precociousness how can that feed perfectionism and feelings of pressure?
I'm sorry you see it as oneupsmanship or something negative about our kids, passthepotatoes. I definitely think you're off-base.
Whoa, please back way up. Never said or implied a single negative thing about anyone's kids. And, made it clear that I believe that parents of gifted kids are not any more guilty of the overidentification or discussion of milestones than other parents. My suggestion is that these sorts of discussions aren't working well for lots of kids and lots of parents - thus the need to change.
If you want to change the entire culture as it relates to milestones, then that's your right. You're entitled to your opinion..
I'm not in charge of changing the culture any more than you are in charge of giving me permission to do so. I was merely providing food for thought. If you are having a strong reaction maybe it is worth considering why. Take what works and leave the rest. I will say that I don't believe it requires a complete change in our culture for individual parents to consider what role milestones, development, acheivement are playing in how they think about and talk about their kids.
