[quote=alli-cat10]
It is revealing to me when the options are being presented as 1. talk about milestones and be honest about your kids or 2. don't talk about milestones and be a liar who is ashamed of her kids. There really is another alternative.
My original point exactly re finding the right audience. In this environment I don't have to choose. In other environments you are correct that in hindsight I have learned to censure for the sake of feelings and friendships. I certainly use a measure restraint when discussing DD now that I did not in the early year or so of her life. My original point was that I do not think that this is something that comes naturally. I think most parents (and maybe you are the exception) have an innate desire to talk about their children especially around other parents. I do not think that this makes me a horrible conversationalist or a shallow bore that has no life outside of her children. Somehow I manage to have great conversations with people that do not have children. It is just a simple fact that when I am with other parents we talk a lot about our children--potty training, the elusive nature of sleep, play groups, schools, sports, and sometimes achievement/milestone issues come up. When they do come up I can sometimes avoid uncomfortable moments and others I cannot no mater how hard I try. For example, just last night I was asked what preschool DD was going to next year. I said she is starting kindergarten. I did not add early or state where in an effort to stop the conversation in its tracks because I could see where it was headed. My answer prompted several follow up questions--isn't she only 4, why are you starting her early, is this wise.
My initial point was that having to self-censure to avoid making someone else feel bad or to avoid an uncomfortable situation makes me feel isolated at times. Isolated because I cannot share everything that I would like to about what is going on in my life and my child's life. For example, this year we agonized over whether to start DD a year early in school. I could not talk about this with my best friend from college because she was struggling with whether to hold her son back a year. I recognized that it would insensitive to discuss the pros and cons of starting DD early when my friend was facing the opposite issue.
Finding this place online (although in the past I have primarily been a lurker) and my local gifted parents group has enabled me to speak freely about my DD. I need the support and the feeling that I am not alone because many days I find it all exhausting. I realize that having a gifted child is a "high class problem to have" and for that very reason I need a place where I feel that I am understood and not judged. I am thankful to have found such a place and believe that it will make me a better parent in the end.
It is different strokes for different folks and I have no problem with your views. I am comfortable with my parenting style and with myself as a person. Being a parent is a big part of who I am and a part that I feel is nurtured by being able to share some stories with like-situated parents.
