I just want to chime in to say that it sounds like you WERE very brave! Pat yourself on the back because that's hard! We're nice people who don't like to make waves. It's hard to say "No, that won't work" to an authority figure like your child's teacher. It sounds like you did great and probably made some headway even. Focusing on the appropriateness of the environment was a really good move. Good on ya'!
I think it's pretty common for HG+ kids to attract the (inaccurate) Asperger's label. Both situations can involve near-obsessive interest in a subject, knowledge far beyond the norm, and social awkwardness among same-age peers. (And possibly other overlaps--I'm not terribly knowledgable about Asperger's...) The mom of another child in our circle once "diagnosed" my son with Asperger's, though he's highly social and socially appropriate.
I also have a longtime friend whose child has extreme asynchronous development. He's perhaps the most intellectually gifted child I've ever met, but he's a good three years behind socially. He got the Asperger's label thrown around like mad at school because school was so exhausting for him that his behavior got worse and worse as the week wore on...even though his father is a psychologist with a Ph.D. whose JOB is to ID kids with Asperger's for a prominent children's hospital! The kid lives with an expert! Come on! Anyway, the child was tested and retested, but he was always found negative for Asperger's. The kid's mom finally told the school, "Look, it's not possible to have Asperger's only on Thursday and Friday. His behavior the other 5 days of the week doesn't fit the diagnosis for Asperger's, so that can't be what it is." She fought the school and this erroneous diagnosis by non-experts for 3 years before she finally chose to home school him.
My point is that sometimes a little knowledge of a condition is a dangerous thing, especially in an educator. Please don't let the teacher's words bug you too much. Certainly you should consider Asperger's, just as you should consider anything that might be relevant to your child's health and well-being. But you've done that! If it's wrong, it's wrong. Next question!
Just don't let it get you down.
Like Trinity, I'm interested in what your plan B is.
Hang in there!
