We brought in a mother's helper to play with the kids while I was still home with them. That was a nice transition for them. They got to know the sitter and I got to train her very thoroughly. Then when I was ready to leave them with her, everyone else was ready, too. (Plus, a M's helper is cheaper than a full-on sitter!)
And I'm late to the party, but I want to echo acs's wise words: a lot of parenting is utterly unrewarding, at least to me. Wiping other people's bottoms and repeating the alphabet over (and over, and over, and over...) was NOT rewarding to me! I got a big laugh out of the blood blister, too, acs. Perfect timing to make your point!
That stuff just doesn't fulfill me as a person, and it never will. It's necessary work, so I did it and still do it as it comes my way. But it is not fun, rewarding, interesting, or stimulating. It made my brain go numb, frankly. I needed more.
The trick is to *find more* when you get to that point. Losing yourself in that mess of bodily fluids and boring routine isn't healthy. Find something that interests you. Embrace it.
I went to Iceland alone to research my book. My WONDERFUL husband and my parents kept the kids while I was gone. That's an extreme example, but it makes my point, I hope, that sometimes you just need MORE, and that's okay. Find a way to get it.
What do you love? What do you miss? What do you need?
Now go get that! Maybe in small doses. But get that!
I was at a girl's night out with the moms from our playgroup a few years ago, before I started writing. We played some silly board game that asked questions that we all had to answer. The one I most remember is "Are you where you thought you would be?" Everyone else said, yes, they were just where they thought they would be at that point in their lives: perfectly happy and fulfilled, loving parenthood and getting all they needed from it. I alone said, "No, I thought I would have both a career and parenthood, and I'm missing that second part. I love what I have, but it isn't enough for me." They all looked at me as if I had two heads.
I don't know if they were lying to themselves or repeating the cliches they thought they're supposed to say, or if I really was just that odd. But no one even seemed to understand. How could I not be perfectly content to be a mom and nothing more? But I really find it hard to believe that scrubbing toilets and picking up dirty undies is what gave these college-educated women all they needed in life.
And to add the necessary caveat, I dearly love my kids. Heck, I'm homeschooling one of them! How much more can I do, you know? But I don't believe that we should sacrifice who we are at the altar of our children. That is not what I want to teach my children about me, about women in general. We need to have lives that are separate from our kids. I really believe that.
Stepping down... So who is next on the soapbox? LOL!
