If we are not honest about how much hard work parenting is, we create a culture of motherhood that does not support those mothers who feel tired and overwhelmed. I have seen many mothers who needed help but were afraid to ask for it because they were afraid that there was something wrong with them for not "loving every moment" of the parenting experience.
Being honest does not mean we do not love our children. In fact, that I was able to do all the things I hate for my son, I think, proves how much I do love him.
Exactly!
My son still asks me sometimes if I "really" like him because his sister told him I seem to get stressed out and cranky a lot more now than I did when she was young. I was a single parent from the time she was two until age 12. I thought single parenthood and working full time and going to school part time was hard but I felt I had more support then and I definitely got more sleep, so I could handle it.
I told my son I was less cranky then because his sister let me sleep. I also told him that his sister and I are normal people and we need our eight hours of quality sleep and if we don't get it we do tend to get cranky, especially after weeks or in my case years of not enough sleep. He saw this for himself when his sister stayed with us for a few days. He didn't let her sleep either and she was worn out after only two days. She understands now why I seem tired, but most people don't. I don't think my husband understands. He, his adult son and our son just don't need much sleep and they make me feel like something is wrong with me for needing sleep, after all I am not working outside the home, and I am only homeschooling one child. How hard could that be?
Not only does my son not need much sleep, he has a fear of the dark and can't fall asleep by himself. I have to read to him or lie down on the bed until he falls asleep and then I go in the other bedroom. He wakes up after anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours and then can't go back to sleep. Since I worry that he will wake up my husband I go back in to my son's room to try to get him to sleep again. He usually tells me that he heard something outside or he had a bad dream or something and has to talk about it. Then I am wide awake and I start worrying about things and I can't fall asleep right away.
I miss feeling well rested. That is absolutely what I miss the most. I do miss living in the city sometimes and having friends that I had something in common with but that seems like it was another life. When I worked full time and felt tired I could call in sick. Can't do that now. I can't say anything to my dad about it because his situation is even worse. He can't even take cold medicine for fear that my mother will get up and wander out of the house or fall and hurt herself or who knows what. Luckily he never needed much sleep either.
At least I know there are people on this message board that understand and it helps.
