marytheres, I am so sorry things have become so contentious. I am wondering what your advocate has to say about the latest turn of events? I would also second the recommendation to see if you can find a pro-bono legal services office in your area that specifically is set up to serve people with disabilities - we have an office in our area, and I did talk to them when our situation with our school became contentious (as well as participated in a few parent training sessions that they put on). The reason I'd recommend at least looking for such a service and at least talking to them briefly is that chances are good they've been involved in other cases within your school district, and may have a working history that involves either your school or your principal - and they may also be very interested in stepping in and advocating for you.
I also would not ignore the emails - I would do as you've done, respond to each politely. And I wouldn't avalanche communications on the teacher, but I also wouldn't stop them - I would simply move forward and communicate as necessary from your perspective.
I also second the advice to look into a change of schools - even though your ds is happy and has had a good year. You're not having a good year! And your ds is eventually going to see what is going on. A previous poster mentioned the toll that this type of situation can take on a parent personally as well as family, a marriage etc. It's very easy to get so caught up in the fight (both parents and the school) that at some point the issue and focus *become* the fight, and shift away from where they need to be - your ds. That happened in my own advocacy for my ds, but I was so caught up in the personal battles and so determined to "win" that Id didn't realize how much of my energy was spent in advocating. In the meantime, I thought my ds was doing ok (other than the areas he was challenged in)... but when he was in the spring of one of his elementary school years, after we'd won the battle for an IEP and after he was supposed to be getting services... he simply told me he was done. I found out then that he'd been sitting on the sidelines of it all, knowing he needed help, knowing that the school didn't think he needed help (his interpretation), knowing I'd finally gotten an IEP for him, knowing that the teachers weren't implementing the accommodations that he *had* in the IEP, and knowing that he had a piece of paper that said he was supposed to be getting help, knowing he desperately needed that help, and knowing that he wasn't getting it. He internalized all of that for the longest time until he couldn't take it anymore. (And at the same time, he was bored to tears in class not challenged intellectually... hopefully that's not the case for your ds). Anyway, the bottom line is - I should have given up sooner. I won the battle but lost the war. The school ds was in was *the* school I had thought would be perfect for him, the school I thought would be able to differentiate, the school I wanted so to be able to be the school I wanted it to be. And it just wasn't.
What I didn't realize, was how *good* it would feel to be out of there! We did switch schools once our ds told us he wanted to switch, and I was sad about having to switch as well as I had concerns because of all the work I'd put into getting ds' IEP, worried that work would be lost. What I found instead was... when you are at a school where the staff *isn't* contentious, where the teachers are free to simply care about the students, life is *so* much easier. My ds loved his new school, and so did I. I no longer had to go to school to fight, I went to school and teachers listened to what I had to say.
So I don't know. I totally understand that you've planned well and set your family up so that your child can attend the school that you felt at one time was the best fit, and chances are that maybe it is really working out for your ds. I'd just take a moment to think through - is this working for you? Is there a possibility that there's another school your ds could switch to that might be more willing to work with you and not put up walls in every direction? Ask your advocate and your neuropsych and any other private professionals you've worked with - which school do they recommend for your ds?
The other thing I'm curious about - I think your ds has been going to vision therapy already, right? I'm just curious if the intent of the form they gave you was to say you'd agree to no further *vision* services. I still wouldn't sign the form, but I'm guessing that might have been the intent.
Hang in there - I am continually impressed at how well you are handling a very tough situation!
polarbear
