Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Things are getting very bad

Oh I told them, very politely - that I would have to be completely out of my mind to sign that waiver and that I will absolutely not sign something like that. I advised them that if we do not come up with an alternative arrangement, I will go the Due Process route in an attempt to get the services rather than sign away all of those rights. I also informed them that I am an attorney and I am also now consulting with a special ed attorney on these issues since it isn't (yet) my area of expertise so don't try putting an agreement like that in front of me again. In response to this and my request that they explain clearly in writing why we can't just make the VT a part of the IEP they merely said (after two written requests for this info and one verbal) that they "would revise the agreement and we'll discuss it at the meeting." I told them I want a draft copy of what they are proposing before the meeting so that I can review it with counsel. No response to that one yet but I am going to have to bring an attorney with me if they do not send me a draft of what they are proposing before the meeting.

I also told the principal that, while I understand and appreciate that he may have personnel issues and concerns, I do not think he can legally tell me or my husband that we can not communicate with our son's teachers. I told him lack of communication is what caused these issues in the first place. I pointed out that we have not communicated with our son's teachers much, but when we have we are always respectful and the communication is always in reference specifically to DS and regarding legitimate concerns. I said that I would be more than happy to copy him on all correspondence and emails with DS's teachers, but I will not stop communicating with my son's teachers about my son. I added that I am sure he (the principal) would welcome involved, supportive and available parents. Open lines of communication between us and teachers can only help DS and, I would add, is indeed imperative for DS's success and I am sure that is what he wants as well. This exchange was cc'd to the Director of Special Ed for the District who is now planning on attending the upcoming meeting. I truly hope she is a reasonable and nice women.

I feel like all the principal is concerned about is his ego and being "right" - every time I come to him with an issue he gets angry and defensive and refuses to believe that whatever we are telling him happened actually happened. I feel like he wants to make us afraid to raise concerns. Then it feels like it becomes a pissing contest of who can 'prove' what happened. Instead of mollifying and soothing the situation over and moving forward, he digs in heels and becomes very adversarial and stuck in "You can't prove that happened, so there!" He makes it all so much worse. It seems like he has completely lost sight that our joint goal should be making sure DS has access to his education. He doesn't have to admit fault to be more like "Okay, we want to do what's best for DS let's see where we can make this better to ensure everything is A-Okay in the future and avoid misunderstandings and issues." Instead he becomes very focused on proving that the concern raised is not a real concern, that DS is lying, etc. For example, The para comments did not happen and now Ds is supposedly lying about the assignments he received in library classroom. Their "defense" is that DS wasn't given a scribe because there was not any writing. However, DS described in detail the writing assignments and what was expected and how much he did on each. But their position is again that DS is lying. I basically told him in the last email that I have to be able to document and raise my concerns with him but that doesn't mean I want to get into these pissing contests with him (I didn't use those exact words LOL). DS has no reason to lie and obviously something in our present arrangement is breaking down, which is bad for all of us. Let's just stop the bickering and move forward by making make sure the accommodations are specific enough and that everyone is properly educated and understands what is expected of them.