I think you might need to go visit the LD schools, DD's test scores in hand, observe in their classrooms, and then have a heart to heart with the principal about your DD's needs and gifts. You will know-- trust yourself-- whether these would be workable.
I'd want to visit the schools too before ruling them out. FWIW, we used to have a school devoted specifically to LDs related to reading disorders, and my older dd attended summer school the year after first grade. It was an amazing school - and I soooo wish I could have sent my EG ds there once we realized how he was struggling with expressive language (unfortunately the school closed due to financial issues). Before I'd been in the school, I had a mental bias of assuming it was for students who were lower on the learning curve and if you sent a gifted kid there they would languish... but I was very, very wrong! I don't know how the LD schools near you are set up - but these are the things that our local school did that were so amazing for my dd and for other children, and I think would have benefited my ds tremendously:
* Most of the teachers had also struggled with LDs as children, so they really understood how to reach the kids, not just with academics, but the emotional and social side of growing up with an LD. They were available for the kids to call to talk to after hours too.
* Truly differentiated learning (more so than any of our gifted programs offer) - children were placed in the class that was at their ability level in each subject - so a 5th grade student, for instance, could be working at a remedial level in reading but be enrolled in high school math at the same time.
* Unlike most schools, the goal wasn't to enroll the child and keep them there for the full suite of grades the school taught; the goal was to enroll the child, help them catch up to grade level in reading ASAP, help them become comfortable with who they are and with their LD, teach them how to advocate for themselves, and then send them BACK into the "real" school world.
Back when my dd was enrolled for summer school, the president of her K-12 school's (regular school) student body was a former "graduate" of the LD school's program (he is dyslexic). He spent (I think) two years at the school, and for him, it literally changed his life - not just in learning how to read, but in realizing he was an ok kid and that his LD didn't have to define his life.
So anyway - just one example of how an LD school isn't necessarily a bad choice for 2e kids. But of course, it all depends on the school.
Re the long commute - that's a tough call. We have a 30-minute each way commute to our kids' school, and it's not my favorite part of the day! OTOH, it gives us time where we are all stuck together in a confined space and I can talk to the kids about their day and what they have coming up for homework that night etc... and they can't escape lol. Although the kids who attend the school all live spread out across our city, my kids still have friends that they socialize with from school - they either go home and we pick them up at their friend's house, or we all meet up somewhere on the weekends. Extracurricular activities are working out a-ok - they participate in some offered through the school, and most of the others they participate in are 1/2-way between here and there so we'd be driving to them anyway. Our kids still have friends in our neighborhood even though they don't go to the same school. In my ideal world, that ideal school would be just up the street and I'd send my happy Father-Knows-Best kids out the door looking all spiffy and ready for the world every morning to walk one block to school, then they'd walk back home at 3, homework would be over by 4, they'd have lots of time to play, and angels would be singing in the background (kidding!). In the real world, having the commute isn't all that fun, but otoh - having my kids enrolled in a school that they LOVE, where the teachers do a good job of challenging them as well as trying to understand ds' LD, and where *I* am not constantly battling to be sure ds has what he needs at school - those bonuses are well worth the commute.
Another thing about commuter schools (we've attended 3 so far) - there are usually car pools etc... and a lot of the local organizations that sponsor extra-curricular activities offer inexpensive van service from the school to their location (gymnastics, etc).
I also can't remember - do you have any other children? I'm guessing not since you haven't mentioned them. If you do, that would of course factor in to all of this.
I know that whatever you do choose - it will be a good choice Pemberley - you're doing an excellent job of making sure your dd has what she needs.
Best wishes,
polarbear
ps - our neighbor boy rides a school bus 45 minutes each way each day because he's bussed to a special program within our district. He reads and does his homework on the bus. My dd8 rides a van to gymnastics an also does her homework on the van ride. Sometimes my dds do their homework while riding in the car with me too. DS, otoh, would be upchucking all over the place if he did homework in the car... so that's not a good solution for everyone!
