thanks for the replies
JamieH, when you say "You just did exactly what is meant by forget the IQ and deal with the behavior" I have to disagree there-- the people telling me this were saying to forget about the gifted side and providing nurturing/challenge/stimulation there and just focussing solely on behavioural issues (some told me to do ABA, no thank you). The teachers and ed. psych saying this had no gifted streams at their school and said it wasn't necessary for my son and that at their school his behaviours would be worked on (they used a discipline based approach for the ASD kids which to me was horrific when they outined their strategies) and I would have to do any gifted stuff at home.
I absolutely disagree with this and if a child is seeking that kind of intellectual stimulation, they should receive it during the day (like at school) instead of having it go untouched and then doing it at home, when they're dealing with the stress of a long day.
I have used my son's intellectual ability to help modify and shape his behaviour, not one person we have encountered in special ed or psychology or ASD 'help' has done this. For eg my son wasn't turn taking or sharing when he was younger. All those specialists would say to him "you must share, you must take turns" but not teaching him WHAT this meant; his role in the social context; how others thought of him; why he would benefit from sharing/turn taking etc. So I taught my son all this myself and used his interests and ability to analyse a situation.
I have never seen this done by the numerous (and I mean numerous) professionals we have encountered, including psychologists, psychiatrists, teachers, special ed, ASD therapists, etc.
We have a handful of specialists we see because they agree with my approach and fully support what I'm doing, where we never ever put the giftedness aside and just dealt with the behaviour.
Just to clarify, my son has never been to school, just a kindergarten which was a terrible experience for him.
