We were also told - deal with the behavior first and the intellect second - by the school and psychologist who advised schools (no bias there then).
Sounds like a bummer of a situation - though some of the suggestions already posted may help? Don't discount a public school that has one-on-one aid, and if they provide that despite your son achieving good academic scores all the better! (I don't think you mentioned to what extent the social behavior is damaging his academic record if at all?)
My husband read and used "The Myth of ADD" -by Thomas Armstrong this summer - which has at least 50 suggestions on how to make your home enrivonment more stable/less confusing etc. for the child. Assuming the Aspergers is not a mis-diagnosis - I should think some of the suggestions may help in the Aspergers home too. Your child sounds very bright and in need of the right kind of challenge intellectually.
Rather than view the "socialization" issue as a "myth" I still think we can stand to re-define what socialising really means and whether it's necessary for social skills to run perfectly smoothly or change straight away. I mean your son is only five and my own experience with schools made me personally feel entirely "crazed" over the whole social thing.
As many above have stated, generally if your child can share something intellectual or a shared passion/love for something with those around him - I would think that will go a long way in making him socially "acceptable". Maybe society needs to become more accepting of what it means to have an Asperbergers child? Sometimes I wonder, who am I trying to please via my child's behavior? Whose standards of beahvior are being applied? Is it even fair to expect the same standards of someone with Aspergbers?
Without knowing the specific issues of your child in public situations it's hard for me to comment without sounding unfair - but are you being too hard on yourself? I think you'll know fairly soon, whether the new school is helping, or still not challenging enough. I feel for you. Ignoring a budding intellect due to behavioral issues has been my son's entire experience at school too - and ignoring an IQ as high as your son's seems like a crime to me!
Good luck.
